Thursday, December 31, 2015


It's been a little while since I've posted. And by a little while I mean lots of months - almost five. Actually, believe it or not, a lot of things have happened and changed. I've been to the hospital... what? two more times? One was the emergency room, but they let me go, which I thought at the time was a mistake. The other time was for electroconvulsive shock therapy (ECT) - yes, they still do that. But more on that later (I promise). I'm almost done with dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) group, although my individual therapist wants me to go through it again. I went from sleeping more than my high school self would have ever thought possible (12+ hours a night and still feeling exhausted) to not being able to sleep again. Luckily, it's just the falling asleep part I'm struggling with. Once I get to sleep I can go back to sleep when I wake up. I keep planning on asking my pdoc about it, but I feel bad bothering him over break, so I keep skipping it. Also, it would involve me going on another medication, which, if you keep reading, you'll find is a thing we don't want. And well, a lot more has happened, really.

I know what you really want to hear about is the ECT, but you have to wait for that. Instead I'll do a boring yearly blog recap. Although, if you want my honest opinion on New Year's stuff, I suggest you read the post I wrote a few years ago entitled "You Say You Want A Resolution..." because that's still true. However, if you would like to answer the question at the bottom of that post: What changes do you plan to make in the new year? Or, better yet, what changes are you going to make RIGHT NOW? please comment on THIS post and not that post.

This year's blog recap is pretty simple since I had so few posts.
Here is the top post of each month:

April: Couch to 10k?
June: "Everything is Different the Second Time Around"
July: a thread
August: Guest Post: Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP)
December: Oopsies

Other updates to my past posts of this year,
Couch to 10k? and So... I Guess It's Time to Come Out? I did stop the couch to 10k program again. At the beginning of the semester I was taking 22 hours (to drop down to 11 later). And at one point I was walking home from campus every night of the week. It was too much for me, so I stopped. And I never started back up.

School and Mental Illness I ended up dropping Organic Chemistry, but ended up getting the only perfect score on the final in the class I was doing well in. And I did make an A in the class.

Sadly, the picture in a thread is still how I feel - even after all the DBT and the post Starting DBT and Hope, hope is still a think I lack.

And, as far as meds go, I am doing a med wash - gradually stopping all my meds. This is because they don't seem to be working. Which of course gives me SO much hope since the ECT didn't work. But, that's for another post. Or maybe not. Follow my med wash on my My Med Story post.

I think that's all I want to say for now. But tune in soon for more.

And I ask again: What changes do you plan to make in the new year? Or, better yet, what changes are you going to make RIGHT NOW?

And/or: It's been awhile - how have you been doing?
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