Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I'm Back (for now)

I'm not a big drinker or on drinking. But I have a story for you.

Every so often you don't have a corkscrew when opening a bottle of wine. Especially when you don't ordinarily drink. And when you're at your parents' house when they have been sober since before you were born. Read: no corkscrew.

While I searched the room, my friend searched the internet for ways to open a bottle without a corkscrew. I found a screw and a screwdriver. She found something about a coat hanger. We decided a screw is close enough to a corkscrew and tried screwing it into the cork. It actually worked. Or we thought it did. However, once the screw was in the cork it was much harder to get it out. Our method was sound. My friend held the bottle as I used the arm of the screwdriver under the screw and tried to pull up. Eventually the screw did come out, leaving the cork in place.

After several attempts the cork was out of the bottle just a bit but not nearly enough, so I went into the garage to try to find a tool that might help. I came back with a super long screw and a hammer. Surely no one had ever been this desperate to open a bottle before. Not sober anyways.

We tried hammering in the super long screw and then removing it with the back of the hammer. I nearly lost an eye, but we were no closer to getting the bottle open. Eventually we decided to pick out the cork. That was when we learned that corks break and crumble. By this point we had almost given up. We didn't really need wine anyways, but one last desperate attempt had me trying to hammer the cork back INTO the bottle. Fortunately, because we had picked off the top of the cork, it worked. Although the cork was much longer than we had thought. With a splash it ended in the bottle dousing me and my bed in wine.

does not work!!

We poured it in cups full of ice and went to take a refreshing sip... of possibly the worst wine to ever exist. I could barely choke down a cup. My friend, who likes alcohol a lot more than I do, ended up taking it home with her.

And with that I will announce that I have just started using my Twitter account. I'm very new to the whole Twitter scene, but you can find and follow me here @CassiesCurse.

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