I wasn't lying!

In case anyone was questioning the validity of my first post -  here are pictures to prove it.

They send poison along with my Wellbutrin.

Maybe pharmacists are inherently super happy?

Am I the only one who sees a problem with this??

Maybe I should write them a letter or something.

MAYBE they force all of their employees to take Wellbutrin.

And that's how they execute the dead peasants thing so well.
Didn't even notice there was a pun there until I reread this post.
I'm so punny... not really.

It really bothers me that this picture is smaller than the other one.

Even though it was sort of my fault since I took them from different angles.

And also how I couldn't put them side by side.

And also I need to take up space so it's not awkward pictures hanging out by themselves.

Does anyone know how to put pictures side by side?

Candy Crush Fever (The 30 Minute Fix)

Hey guys - I'm really sorry it took so long for me to make another post. I started writing this over a week ago but then life happened. I'll probably make a post about it later (once it becomes funny). Also I had an actual assignment for my job, so I've been doing with that too.

It's okay, you can admit it - I know you're addicted.

In a world of constant stimulation we are always looking for something to do. Sadly, the days of "just go outside" has passed. And besides, it's hot outside. I think I will spontaneously combust (that's definitely a word google, get your shit together) if I'm outside for longer than the run to the car. Almost everyone has a smartphone. And who actually calls people on their phone anymore? The main reason for having a phone is to check the time. And time wasting apps of course. Which is where it all began.

I'm cheap. And also broke. I only install the free version of apps (except for Plague Inc. which is the best app of all time). As I'm sure you all know, free apps are riddled with ads. You can hardly play Angry Birds because an ad covers most of the screen.

 For me, it all started with Doodle Jump. Which I just had to play because I remembered it. It had been awhile - I've been playing Candy Crush. And I checked my stats. And I have played that game for well over 24 hours. I haven't hit 48 though, so I think I'm doing pretty well. Anyways. Every time you die in Doodle Jump, they show you an ad. It's basically their way of laughing at you because you suck. Although props to them for not making the ad get in the way of playing the game (Angry Birds). I always ignore them and hit the X. Well apparently I missed the X. And, sadly, hitting the back button while google play is loading is about as futile as clicking the shortcut on your desktop a hundred times.

Once it finally finished loading, I discovered that the app was in my price range. So, why not? What's the worst thing that could happen?

I played it a few times here and there. It was okay. Then my sister got into. Then I started playing more. Then I discovered the 30 minute wait.

Unlike most games, you can't play Candy Crush endlessly. You only have five lives. Each life takes half an hour to get back (sadly, it doesn't go over five).

This was very smart on their part. Because if you can't play something - you want to. And you obsess about it. And you get your friends involved (heh heh... sorry guys). And they get their friends involved. And then everyone's addicted to Candy Crush.
I'm not even allowed to share what some of my friends have done to keep playing this game.

How do you break the cycle?
I have no idea. If you know, please share.
And in the meantime - happy crushing.

Added note: So, what happens when you beat all of the levels? Someone I know said (paraphrased quote) "I realized I have no life about the time I beat every level of Candy Crush with three stars."

Hair Yoga and Other Stories

I was all set on making my post today about the crazy animals I live with (pets - the humans will come later). But then this morning I read on So Then... Stories a post about hair - My Daughter, the Italian Truck Driver.
And was inspired to write a post about some of my own hair stories.

For those of you who don't know - I have sisters. My family is one kid short of double the norm (there's four of us - I was trying to be witty - it didn't work). I have two younger sisters and an older half-sister. And all four of us decided when we were little that we had an aversion to hair cuts.

First of all, none of us liked brushing our hair. In fact, we straight up refused to. Because our hair was so long it seemed like a huge chore that we could get away with forgoing (spoiler alert: we couldn't). From 4th to 6th grade I had a huge dreadlock on the back of my head. Sometimes it would be covered in a layer of brushed hair, often times not.
One time in 6th grade when it was particularly bad (I could see the top of it over my head in the mirror bad) my mom asked me to put it up to make it a little less obvious. I  had to find the most stretched out hair tie in the house, but I made it work. That day my favorite teacher (science - we used to hate on writing together because we wrote like we talked and the writing teacher in that grade was terrible, one time she... posts on that in the future) came up to me at lunch and grabbed the knot that was my hair. She commented. I don't remember what she said (just that it wasn't mean or embarrassing... yeah no idea what she said) but after that, and hours of trying to get it out, I started brushing my hair regularly. Funnily enough my sisters each have very similar stories. Apparently we don't learn anything from each other.

But what about the hair yoga?
We're getting there.

like this

One time I will never never never forget is when my youngest sister decided to brush her hair with a round brush. No one will forget that day. Ever. Not even the family friend, Elizabeth. And she died. I don't remember how old my sister was at the time, but she thought you used this brush like a curler. Now her hair is very short now, but at the time it touched whatever chair she was sitting on. It was looooong. This time she took as much hair as she could, starting at the tips and wrapped and around the brush. And then... she pulled.
Now, you might not know what happens in this circumstance. Hint: A Disaster. The brush suddenly becomes a torture device. Most parents would get a pair of scissors or take their kid to the hair dresser. Elizabeth's father shaved her head to teach her to brush her hair. But my little sister cried and said she liked her long hair. My mom had to leave (and didn't want to deal with her) so they made a pact. I call someone to help, you brush your hair from now on. In tears, she agreed. Now my mom laughs when she remembers calling Elizabeth for help. But at the time she was miles past being mortified. You know someone loves you when she spends four, that's right FOUR, hours trying to get a brush out of your hair. And that's after she cut all the bristles off the brush. Yeah. She did start brushing her hair after that though. And, she will never use a round brush again. Ever. Not even once.

The last story (yes, yes, the hair yoga story, I know that's the only reason you decided to read this post) that I will share today involves yours truly and my older sister. I was seven or eightish in her room (my parents gave her their room when she was in town) catching up before she went to some important dinner meeting. Actually I must have been older. I don't know what 13/14-year-old has important dinner meetings. Anyways, somehow, the idea of hair yoga was formed (aside: if you remember how it came up, please let me know). We thought it was hysterical. We were almost in tears from laughing so hard.  I know I said "it's hair yoga! you have to say 'owwww' instead of 'ommmmm.'" Then, I decided that it was an excellent time to try it out. First we started with stretches. That was pretty much me moving her hair up and down, reminding her to say "owwww" by occasionally pulling. After playing with her hair a little, it was time for the twist poses. I took every strand of hair on her head in my hands and stuck the wad on the top of her scalp. I then proceeded to walk in a circle around her with my hand on top of her head. This went on for a long time.  Not even too long. So far past too long there's no word for it. What I thought I was doing - making a bun or hair twist that would be easy to take out. She thought the same. After all, I was only twisting it. What could go wrong? What I was actually doing - causing an impressive knot. And by impressive, I mean impressive. When I (finally) took my hand away the hair didn't move. When she tried to shake the twist out, it still didn't move. Not even a little. Oops. Then my mom comes in the room. "Okay, time to g-WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR??" I tried to explain hair yoga to my mom while my sister frantically tried to do something about the hopeless knot. My mom did not understand. The knot did not come out. I felt horrible, but there was nothing I could do. She left for her dinner meeting brush in hand, hair in knot, swearing she would kill me when when she got home.
So, if anyone was wondering - hair yoga - not good.


The more I think about it the more hair stories I come up with. But I think I'll leave it at that for now.
Coming Soon: Hair Stories Part Two
I think I will end with the same invitation as Darcy Perdu - does anyone else have any hair stories?

Slightly embarrassing story ahead....

So, of course, since I have a new blog I'm getting hopelessly a bit obsessed with Google Analytics.
Especially since they they added a tab where you can see what's going on in real time.

I had just put the link up on Facebook so I went to my Google Analytics page when I saw something very exciting.

an actual person on my blog!!

I freaked out. I mean freaked out. So, of course I want to know more about this person. I run through the tabs on the side.

I think they should tell you the person's life story

But they don't show anything exciting. I decide I have to at least find out where this person is. I assumed it was one of my Charleston people on... here? my blog? whatever. So I make it show in which city this person  lives. There I see this.

Hey guys... wanna guess where I live? I bet you can.

That's right.

Irmo.

I got so excited. About myself being on my blog.

*facepalm*

How typical is that?

In my defense - I could not find a single tab that had it open. But for some reason it was still me.

However. I think I can still consider it a win because...

It happened to be exactly 11:11 when I took that screenshot. And I didn't even realize it until after I started making all those pictures.

The lesson I learned from this is that (obviously) since it was 11:11 when I took the picture this blog will magically go from have no followers to having many in a matter of seconds. Because of good luck. I probably shouldn't obsess over Google Analytics.

I feel kind of weird posting this now. So I think I'll wait till sometime tomorrow.

Note from tomorrow/today: I actually have gotten my first a new follower since then! So clearly I was right.

Hi new follower! I hope you're having a good day. I'm sending you lots of internet love.

Dear Corporations,

Why does food have to be so expensive?
Especially healthy food.

I know it costs less to exploit children. But maybe if you don't they'll live longer and be able to work harder/better?
Gardens are hard. Everyone knows that. That's why all of us don't have one. You have to uproot whatever's growing where you want the plant things, and hoe, and plant, and weed, and weed, and weed. And then maybe pull out a few more weeds.
Actually... couldn't just the exploited children weed?... That was bad. Pretend I didn't say that.
But really. There are so many people out of work. They could get jobs helping make health food. And then there would be more and the cost would go down (that's how econ works, right?). Everyone would be happy then. And healthier.
What was that? Your corporation evilness wouldn't be? My bad. How dare I say such a thing.

But seriously, I can go to the store and buy with a dollar A. one piece of fruit or B. five packs of ramen.
Which one of those is going to get me farther?
Yes, I know fruit has more vitamins. I mean in the short run farther, not the grand health scheme farther.... Am I even still make sense?
Anyways, even then - I'm a vegetarian - so I buy a vegetable base to put on it instead of the meat packet.
Which of course is much more expensive than the meat bases.
My parents deliver organic produce to people's houses. So I always had it around me when I was little. I guess I shouldn't have taken it for granted.

How can you shame someone for not eating healthy when they can't afford to?

Oh wait. I forgot again - if we don't make enough it's our fault.
Even though you don't pay any of your workers enough.
Silly me.

Sorry for ever questioning you,
Cassie

Also, if you guys want to have a bit of fun try playing the McDonald's game it's kinda fun. In a sad way.

Cassandra

For those of you who don't know Greek mythology (or this story anyways, it's about all I know) here is the abridged story of Cassandra.
Apollo gave her a gift of prophecy. However when Cassandra refused to be seduced by him, he cursed her so that no one would believe her.
Everyone thinks she's crazy, however, everything she says ends up true. But, it doesn't matter how many times this happens people still don't believe her.

And this is my life in a nutshell. I say stuff. People don't believe it. And then I'm right (not all the time but most of it). Then, I say something else. It's not believed again. And then I end up right again.
It drives me crazy.

So, yes, that is story of Cassandra (and also a little about me). My sources include my brain and wikipedia, because I didn't know who gave her the curse, just that it happened.
Also from wikipedia:

The Cassandra metaphor is applied by some psychologists to individuals who experience physical and emotional suffering as a result of distressing personal perceptions, and who are disbelieved when they attempt to share the cause of their suffering with others.

 I think someone needs to tell my therapist about that title. Because I believe it fits.

She is portrayed as intelligent, charming, desirable, elegant, friendly, and gentle, but she was considered to be insane.

Obviously all of the characteristics do not fit. She was Helenus's twin. And I do not claim any beauty. The insane part though... can't really deny that.

I'm just going to dive right in....

So, in my prescription of Wellbutrin came one of those little packets that if you eat it you are guaranteed to die. And I thought that that was kinda of ironic (note: modern ADs are made so that it’s very difficult to OD. They’re not like the MAOIs which I’m not allowed to possess).
But doesn't there just seem something wrong with that picture?

Mind you at that pharmacy they only have that one prescription and don't know about everything else I'm taking. I'm probably on more drugs than most inpatient... patients... but still. It's like do you want some poison with your ADs? I’d like to think that the people at Walgreens would take it out. Or the people at my Walgreens. It’s so weird when the people at the Walgreens by here need my ID. At the other Walgreens they know me really well. We always joke about how screwed up I am. Well, I do. They laugh which makes me feel a little better.
But I don’t even need to tell them my name or anything. When they see me they grab my prescriptions. Cause we’re buddies. Or maybe I'm just in there a lot.... Anyways....

Also, don’t worry. I threw away the toxic die if you eat thing away promptly.

For pictures go to this post.